Monday, April 14, 2008

That old familiar feeling....

Why am I so comfortable feeling bad about myself? I had a bad food weekend. Friday and Saturday are blank pages in my food diary. Including the exercise section. Yesterday, I wrote down what I ate, but didn't count. (I also did a 5.5k walk) I'm surprised that, with all this time and energy spent on thinking about what I'm eating and making sure that I'm moving, I'm still more comfortable feeling bad about myself. I'm going to try to stop beating myself up, so I'm putting it here to acknowledge the feeling, and let it go. Maybe forever??

Why is being successful at this such a scary thought? I know in my core I deserve to feel good about myself.

I guess all I can do now is focus on today. Today. Today. Today.

I have my make up session with the personal trainer today (I missed Thursday 'cause of the record snow fall). I may be meeting a friend to practice my breast stroke kick - I can't think of what it's called right now. I haven't heard from her yet, so I'm thinking that will happen tomorrow. I will take puppy for a walk for sure and I may do the elliptical after training.

I'm trying a new recipe for dinner tonight. I have chicken marinating since last night. It is a Jamaican marinade from the Crazy Plates recipe book. I think it will be really good. I'm going to also make a tropical salsa and some brown rice.

Daughter had her last volleyball tournament yesterday. What an improvement she has made this last session - she had a great coach. They all played well. I'm going to arrange for some personal training sessions for daughter. I need something to motivate her. Now that volleyball is done, she won't have any activities to get her moving. I so want her to grow up with exercise in her life.

Well, I guess I'd better get moving. Have a healthy day bloggers!!


  1. Being successful is scary. It's like, you get to a whole 'nother tax bracket, you know? Then it's not just about being successful, it's about staying successful. I feel your fear. I'm the same way. But dammit, I'm so proud of you for your fitness levels. That is something to be so proud of. You can move your body more than a lot of people, and for that, I admire and hope to emulate you.

    Keep up the good work!!!

  2. Success is scary! I know myself I am scared of getting to goal weight, because I know maintaining that loss will be harder than getting it off! And if I gain, then it's not just a failure visible to me, it is to everyone else too, and that scares me. But What I do know, is I have changed some major habits from the way I used to, and as long as I keep up with those, and keep active, things will be fine for me, and I know they will be for you too!

  3. Hmmm...this is a toughie. You're doing such a wonderful job, maybe it's not so bad that every once in a while you don't feel so hot? Or that you don't do quite so well? I just wonder why it is that in the realm of diet/exercise, we think that unless we're 100% perfect, that we're some how failures? Where ELSE in life is that the situation? Be gentle with yourself. You're special and deserve to be handled with care!