I am at the end of my rope. The challenge that I was in for my Club is done. When I went in for my final weigh in and measurement (they measured us around the waist at our belly button), I was down 5 lbs (had been 10 before my time away last week) and my waist measurement was up .5. Seriously. The gal said "don't get discouraged, someone likely made an error on your original measure". I figure if they can't measure properly they shouldn't be doing a competition. Also, how can anyone NOT be discouraged if they have worked, and tracked and stayed on plan most of the time for two months and then measure bigger?
I left crying. I had trouble sleeping last night. I was so discouraged. I just felt completely defeated. Like I had wasted my time for the past two months. Why should I put all this thought into weight management if this is the result I get? The worst part was that I had been feeling really good about things and had even gone out and purchased two new pairs of low rise funky jeans. Before this incident I felt good in them. Yesterday I felt like a cow. I had been feeling smaller. Crap.
Well, in spite of all of this going on in my head, yesterday was on plan. The only extra points I ate were my activity points. I plan for today to be the same way.
My weigh in and measurements for the bathing suit competition is next Monday. I still have hope for that one, although my girlfriend yesterday told me not to bother because she always knew that suit was hers. I'm going to give it my all - at least give her a run for her money. She actually ended up making me feel a bit worse, because she implied that I hadn't worked hard. What pisses me off is that I know I exercised more than her, because she has been injured. But, regardless, I'm buying a new bathing suit and I think I found a cute one. It has a small skirt on the bottom. The part of my body that I am most self conscious of is the very top of my thighs, so that helps me feel better. In any case, the competition isn't over with the suit, because we have have a "get to goal" goal next. I will keep plugging along.
So, want to hear something positive? While I was away, I worked out twice (out of a possible 4). While I was on the elliptical, I looked in the mirror behind me and I saw that I have nice calves. I had previously been unable to find one thing on my body that I liked.
OK. Thanks for letting me vent. I'm not giving up. I'm not going to stop trying. I will be healthy!!!!
Have a healthy day bloggers!!
PS: Meanwhile - I had the very best time away with my husband. It was some much needed couple time!!