In laws are gone. I survived. Without copious amounts of alcohol. With a few tears shed in private to husband on a coffee run. The silver lining is that daughter got to spend some time with her grandparents. It isn't about me.
With the in laws in, I missed weigh in at WW on Tuesday. I weighed at home. I'm pretty sure I blogged about it. Anyhow, I decided by Wednesday that I would go weigh in today so that I wouldn't miss a week. Even though I have to go weigh again on Tuesday (3 days from now!!). I'm down 0.8. I am over the moon, because this means that I navigated the program properly while being out of my routine and under a lot of (self-imposed) stress. Yay me. Whatever. That isn't the most interesting part of my story today.
This might be long. Either get a coffee, or move on to the next blog ;-)
When I became a lifetime WW member, I was 24 and my goal weight was 125. I started at 139 (I think - it was 18 years ago, I don't still have my books - but for some reason, I have this # stuck in my head). Now, I'm never going to be 125 again. I don't want to be, because I couldn't stay there. Obviously - since I'm back at it.
I have been feeling good, and while I realise I'm not perfect, I think I'm pretty much where I want to be. I THOUGHT that I would change my goal weight (you are allowed to change it once) to 145. This is still a smidgen over 5 lbs from where I am now.
Since I went to WW without my friends (they went on Tuesday) I thought I would do all this "housekeeping" today. Well, the leader then explained to me that you have to pick a goal weight that is at least 5 lbs less than your ORIGINAL starting weight. Which would mean that my "new" goal weight would have to be 134, and not the 145 that I wanted. (I have also learned that I'm actually 1 inch and 3/8's taller than I originally thought. Which makes my ranges higher. Which makes my original goal weight even more ridiculous)
So, how did I handle this news? With grace and dignity? Nope. Not yours truly. I started to cry. Not a discrete, lady-like tear dripping ever so delicately from my one eye. I sobbed. And the leader (one that I don't like, by the by) says what's the matter, don't you think you can go that low? In between sobs, I explained that I was, for the first time in my life, happy with my body and that I really thought 5 more lbs was all that I "needed" to lose. In the end she did the paper work in a way that should enable me to get the goal weight of 145. If not, I may have to go to my doctor to get him to sign a form.
Why does this all matter? I will tell you. I want to work at WW and I have to be at my goal to do that. If my goal has to be 134, I won't be able to work there ever. I felt like a dream was being ripped away. I told the lady I want to have a goal that I can keep. I don't want to be loosing weight ever again. Eventually I stopped crying and was able to go weigh in. I'm so glad that I had a loss today, or the tears may have started all over again!
Anyhow - sorry to be such a time sucker.
Today's agenda includes.....weights at the Club (maybe some cardio - if an elliptical is free)...tutor for daughter and then.....INDIANA JONES BABY!!!!!!!! Where I will be having the children's popcorn & diet coke WITH BUTTER. I know, I know, but it's INDIANA and I will be counting. I don't go to the theatre often, just for the good action flicks that need a big screen, and quite frankly if I'm going to pay the billion $$ it costs to go to the movie these days anyway - I'm having the whole experience. The kid's popcorn packages are a great deal cause they are cheap and it is just enough popcorn that I feel like I've had a treat, but not so much that I feel like I've "blown" it and then end up binging.
I have to say - I've been reading every one's blogs this morning - but I had almost 60 entries to read, so if you notice a serious lack of commenting.....that is why. I hate missing a day (or a week) of blog reading.
OK bloggers - rock on - and have a healthy day!
Bummer about them making you get down to 134 to work there!
ReplyDeleteI think it sounds like your comfortable where your at, and you shouldn't push yourself to be that small. Plus we all know your looking Fab these days ;)
So does WW fire you if you go up from your goal weight after you get their? That sounds crazy - I can understand them wanted their representatives at a healthy weight - but they should be realistic about it. Ugh, well good luck to you with your goal - I hope they let you use your more realistic one!
ReplyDeleteThat whole WW weight thing pisses me off. I wanted to work for them, too but I would have to weigh 142 pounds and I was very happy at 150 thank you. Even my doctor said 150 was perfect for me. WW needs to rethink what they do because it's not fair. And I do believe you have to stay at "their weight" to continue to work for them. We had a leader that started gaining weight back and lost some of her meetings until she lost the weight agai.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the loss!!
ReplyDeleteGlad the in-law experience is behind you. Yay, you made it!!
That is the one thing I don't like about WW. When I first joined in the 60's you couldn't pick your own goal. They picked it for you (don't know if that was the case for you or not) and if I had to stick to that goal weight now, I probably would never get there nor be healthy there. I think mine was around the same is yours (and I have lost 1/2 inch in height over the years). I worked for them back then (you didn't have to be at goal then either). But had to quit because this state chapter is run by an idiot and I couldn't stand working for her. Hope everything works out for you in that arena.
Hey, my bladder is directly behind my eyes too. Seems they leak at the slightest negative occasion. I just look at it as if I've released some stress.
I understand that because lifers get free admission, they don't want women claiming a goal weight that isn't actually their final goal weight. BUT, within reason, you should certainly be able to change your goal weight if you want to.
ReplyDeleteAnd Fatinah--the silver lining of this post is that YOU FEEL HAPPY WITH YOUR BODY FOR THE FIRST TIME! That is so profound. Very few Western women reach that place, so a major congratulations is in order.
Girl - you need to go with what your body tells you, not just a number on the scale! If you are truly happy and comfortable where you are right now, that's God telling you you are right where He wants you to be! *hugs* Thank you for sharing this with us!
ReplyDeletexo
Michelle