Bummed

I was supposed to meet with my personal trainer tonight.  I was on the bus home from work when I got the e-mail telling me she wouldn't make our appointment - her car needed to be towed, yada, yada. For those of you not in Calgary, the only place on earth colder than here at one point yesterday was the south pole.  So.... valid excuse, but really, really disappointing.  I don't like change at the best of time, but sheesh.  I did start my half marathon training yesterday.  My 2 mile run - done!  I actually thought today was a cross train day - but it was a rest day.  Oops.  Guest I should read the schedule.  I went up to the club with a headache - did the bike for a while - but..... All in all - crappy workout.

I have been weepy all day.  I think I must be getting my period.  Also, my baby girl turns 18 on Friday and it is freaking me out!!!  I don't even feel grown up enough to have a child, never mind an 18 year old child.  Young lady.  EEK!!!!

We bought her birthday present today.  Just have to get it to Lethbridge now.  Her friends are going down for the big celebration (she isn't coming home to celebrate) so we will likely send it down with one of her friends.  Feels weird - she has never been away from us for her birthday before.  I guess this is the cycle of life, but I don't like it - not one bit!!  ;-)

Have a healthy day!

Making through the treats

I made it through the day today with a minimal amount of treats.  4 jujubes and 3 licorice.  That's pretty good if I do say so myself!

I had my first test of will power though tonight since coming back to this job.  I left originally in June because there was just too much overtime.  I had signed up thinking I'd do 40 hours and I was working 90.  Anyhow - they called and said no more OT if I'd like to come back.  I signed up immediately because I really like the people.  Anyhow - tonight at 4:30 (my quitting time) one of the girls had her stuff show up.  Which means she will be working tonight to get a jump on it to meet her deadline.  I offered to help - but I think she got mad at me asking if she wanted me to stay - I guess I should have just stayed.  Anyhow - she wouldn't look at me and just waived me away.  So, I left as my stuff is done and I'm not supposed to be working OT anyhow...... but now I'm wracked with guilt.  Sigh.  In my head I know I need to just let it go - I decided to leave and I negotiated no OT.... but..... it goes against my whole being to not be a team player.  My big test tomorrow will be to act normal tomorrow.  Argh.

In other news, I have decided to train for a 22k.  I'm using the training program from About.com.  My first run is tomorrow night.  2 miles.  Is it weird that I'm looking forward to it?  My daughter and husband are going to train also.  Husband has potential for knee issues - so he will have to play it by ear - but.... I'm really excited that daughter is going to do it.  Well, she says she's going to do it... ;-)

Have a healthy day!

The Struggle Continues

I started my new job this week (the one I quit in June).  This means I'm in the land of snacks.  Oof!  Why oh why do I love chips SO much?

Tomorrow I am going to chose a really, really light lunch.  I had satay beef soup for lunch today, but I was feeling so full when I was done that it triggered a binge.  This has been my problem for quite a while.  So.... tomorrow I tackle the problem in a new way.

I met with my personal trainer last night.  She used the TRX for the whole workout.  I really enjoyed it.  I love the TRX.  

Tomorrow night I go see Harry Potter.  I'll be honest - I'm beside myself with excitement!

I'm toying with signing up for a 22k training clinic.  I don't know - I hate the running room instructors, but...... it would keep me on the trails......

Who made up mountain climbers?

Seriously - I would love to get my hands on the person that made up that exercise!  They were included in the exercises my personal trainer had me doing yesterday and I could not believe how much it got my heart going.  I just hate them though.  

Our workout was fun - but hard.  I had to do one strength exercise, one ab exercise and one heart raising (or in my case almost stopping) exercise then repeat them 3 times.  Then  onto the next set.  That is my favourite type of workout.  I don't enjoy the sessions when we are just on the machines.

Last night I met my girlfriend for drinks.  We had a really nice time.  I had some chips and salsa - Chilis has my favourite because they are so nice and salty!  Sadly though - they really, really bother my stomach and so I'm in quite a bit of discomfort this morning.  Ah well - the price I pay for poor choices.

Tonight I have a function to attend up at my Club.  The President's Ball.  The theme is "a passport to France".  Should be a fun do - and I can't wait to see what foods they have for us to try!  Apparently they will have food stations set up with wine parings.  And dancing!!  I love going out dancing.  

Today we going to do some re-organizing in our house.  We just purchased a new dining room set and now we have so much extra stuff.  We have to move everything into the basement with all the "keep" stuff on one side and all the "get rid of" stuff on the other.  Then we have to rent a truck so we can actually perform the "get rid of" part!!

We are experiencing really nice weather - so I have a long walk planned with the pup after I'm done my coffee.  Can't wait.  Plus - I want to get out of the house - I have a whole crew of men on my roof at this very moment putting on a new one and it really feels like they are going to come right through!  It is pretty stressful and the dog is going nuts!

Have a healthy day!

How can it have been so long!

I was filling out my "new" food journal and I noticed that I was on week 5.  It occurs to me that I haven't posted for likely that long.  Could that be?

I have been having trouble posting because I don't have as much alone time as I used to.  The I realized I can post in an e-mail - which is WAY more discrete and voila!

Just got back from Belly Dance tonight.  Our show is on the 14th and I've decided to not participate.  I'm so sad.  For the first time since I started dancing I just don't feel good enough about myself to get myself up on that stage.  Sigh.

I am still running.  Did the Halloween Howl a few weeks ago.  That is a fun run.  Totally rocked it.  HaHa!!  This week I started running a rout that has a hill in it.  Not a moment too soon either - as I was breathing so hard I actually had to run 2:1's up it!!!  I have a lot of work to do - but I guess it is good to have a goal.

Well - short post for now - just wanted to say hi to all.  More news later!

Have a healthy day!

Melissa's recap and more!

I ran Melissa's a couple of weeks ago. Had a great run - lost my walking group.

We have a gal in the group that isn't particularly good at making new comers to the group feel comfortable. I've been with the group for 3 years and I'm still an outsider. She is just really at making people feel excluded.

So, we all toodle up to Banff for a couple of nights. She was in fine form, and by the end of the race I knew that life is just too short and I don't have the energy to bang my head against a wall. Luckily - my daughter had made a last minute decision to come home for the weekend - and so I left Banff right after the race instead of staying for the 2nd night.

The race was good. I ran the 10k. My goal for the race was an hour 20. I hadn't been running more than 4.5k before the race and so I wasn't as prepared as I could have been. I'm happy to report that I finished in 1:16!!! YAY me!!

This past weekend I ran the Run for the Cure with a girlfriend. We finished with a 7:16 pace - which translated into 37 minutes I think for the 5k. We were over the moon about that. That was faster than I had been running on my own AND that was running 5:1's.

I got my hair done yesterday. Removed around 3 inches and did caramel & copper highlights again. I thought it looked pretty - but husband didn't notice. Hmpf!!

Thanksgiving this weekend. Daughter should arrive around 5 this evening. Turkey on Sunday. Sadly I forgot to put it in the fridge yesterday to defrost. Hmmmm, it's in there now, but..... Sides this year will be... mashed potatoes, carrots and turnips, broccoli salad and by special request made by daughter - chocolate pie for dessert. I don't happen to like it - but daughter & husband LOVE it.

Still doing pilates 2x/week, working with personal trainer 2x/week, belly dancing 1x/week, curling 1x/week and running 30 minutes a time whenever I can..... but getting no where because my eating is all over the map. Being your own worst enemy is hard work!

Have a healthy day bloggers!!

The party and the humiliation

Last weekend was my girlfriend's re-marriage. It was a touching awesome evening and she just glowed. It was clear she was having the 2nd night of her life!!

Five of the guys attending ended up wearing kilts (mine included) and around 7 - 9 women wore a sash. It looked really pretty to see so many people participating in the Scottish traditions.

My girlfriend had a bit to drink and decided, that before we started speeches and ate and whatnot that she would go around the room and introduce people - say how we all know each other.

I know this gal from curling. She introduced me though as her..... Weight Watchers friend. Yep. 40 odd people sitting in the room and that was my claim to fame for the rest of the evening. Now, while I do follow WW, I don't go with this gal. I've been to.... maybe.... two meetings with her. AND, if was was near my goal.... maybe I wouldn't have been so MORTIFIED, but I'm quite the opposite! I was proud of myself though - I didn't cry at the table. I had my cry about it the next morning in private with my husband. HAHA.

Of course, there were people there from our social circle that I would NEVER, EVER, EVER discuss this part of my life with. And of course, later in the evening, we were talking about the desert. My husband has, our entire relationship, eaten my desert. I'm just not a desert person. On top of that, it was cheesecake, which I happen to despise because of the texture. Well, I made a joke about husband taking my plate, and the gal I would never talk about my weight to asks "so..... is that cause you can't HAVE cheesecake?" ARGH!!!! I hate, hate, hate having to answer questions like that, which is why I don't tell people about WW!!!

I was shocked at how much this bothered me. I was so incredibly embarrassed, I just couldn't believe it.

Aside from that though - it was such a fun night. I bet I danced for almost 4 hours. The DJ was just great and fun was had by all.

I've had a good week this week. Pilates twice, personal trainer twice, belly dance once, and 60 on cardio machines. Daughter is busy at school, and so I haven't spoken to her. Just bbm'ing & facebook. Sigh.....

Freaking out a bit about Melissa's next weekend. I REALLY need to get training!!!!

Below is a picture of husband & I dressed all pretty for the party. After the humiliation, before the dancing. ;-)

Friday!

Boy - it felt like Friday would never get here! Wednesday I met with Personal Trainer and it was a lot of fun. We did weights for around 30 minutes, then abs, then, for the last 10 minutes, I had to do 10 different exercises each for a minute. Oy! My heart was thumping so hard it jumped out my chest and ran out of the fitness room screaming "no more"!!!

Last night I had pilates again and then belly dance!!! It felt so good to start up again. There are around 8 people in the class - which is a nice size. Pilates was good. The class is way faster than I thought it would be. Move to move to move. Flip on your stomach, on your back, on your stomach. I get a bit motion sick just flipping!! The biggest problem I'm having with pilates is all the toe pointing. It causes my toes to cramp. PAINFUL!!!!

Today I meet with Personal Trainer again. Then lunch with my girlfriends. Woohoo!!

This weekend is my friend's re-marriage. They are celebrating 30 years. It is a formal Scottish do - husband picked up his rented kilt last night and I finally was able to pin my sash into a rosette. I think it will look really pretty. My friend is so excited - it has been fun to be part of the whole thing. They are such a nice couple.

H-Woman: e-mail me at fatinahdc(at)hotmail(dot)com - and I will e-mail you from my real life account and we can exchange contact information and formulate a plan!!

Reality - is relative?

Husband & I were watching "Last 10 lb Boot Camp" on the weekend. It was an episode with two friends - musicians I think - that wanted to lose 10 lbs before their next big concert.

At the beginning of the show - the taller of the two gals fit into a size 10 and was 166 lbs. Husband was convinced that there was NO way a woman that weighted THAT much fit into a size 10.

Obviously I have never discussed my weight with my husband - other than the fact that I'm always trying to lose weight.

Fast forward to today - I had to buy a dress for a wedding I'm going to on Saturday. I ended up with a size 10 (which I'm sure was vanity sized). I felt so discouraged I just about cried in the change room. Honestly - it wasn't size related. It was shape related. Over the past year my shape has changed significantly. All the while I am trying to change my habits, exercising like a friggen fool. I honestly don't know what to change at this point.

In any case - I really hadn't realized how bad it had all gotten until I was changing in the dressing room. Those lights don't give you anywhere to hide. Does anyone else out there have a problem with cellulite? How do you deal with it? Does anyone have any ideas of any changes I can make?

Meanwhile - daughter seems to be settling in nicely at University (Lethbridge). She actually started class today. I survived a week without her.

H-Woman - are you doing a weekend in Banff for Melissa's? I am with my walking group - any chance we could..... meet? Even just after the race for a quick hello?

I'm off to meet with my personal trainer. After today it feels like a huge waste of $$.

Oh, I had my first pilates class last night - it was..... good - but I thought it would be harder? I know she started us off at the very beginning..... makes me wonder what is in store!!

Monday

I had the absolute worst sleep last night. Periodically I wake up in the middle of the night so hot I feel like I'm on fire. In my head I feel way too young for this to be happening, but I guess I'm not.

Tonight I met with my personal trainer. It was a fun session, although we were on the weight machines for part of it - which I don't really like. My cardio component tonight was lunges (blech) and the rowing machine - which I actually quite like.

My trainer also did up a running schedule for me to help me get ready for the Melissa's 10k race later in September. Right now I'm running around 4k. I have some work ahead of me. I'm determined to get my stretching in every day so that my knees will feel better. I have described the pain I'm having and my PT is pretty sure my muscles are the problem. Stretch and strengthen.

Daughter is out tonight having a last hoorah with her friends. I am holding it together... somewhat. My trainer asked when daughter is leaving today during one of my exercises and I started to cry. So, maybe not SO together....

Tomorrow night we have a family dinner (husband's side) at Swiss Chalet. I am dreading it. I would be anyhow - but tomorrow is daughter's last night in town and my stress level will be higher than normal and I'm sure husband's family will drive me crazier than normal. Can't wait.

Not much else on the go. Just counting down till my life changes. Sigh.

Back in the groove?

Phew! Holidays are over. We had a great time. We were in Montreal for 2 weeks with a side trip to Lake Placid New York. What a pretty area. As I live in a former Winter Olympic city - I wasn't sure what to expect - but it was nice. We'd go back. I would have liked an extra day there.

Since we've been back I've been trying to find some sort of routine. I'm seeing my personal trainer 2 times a week. Besides that I've been jogging and going on long walks. After the long weekend my week will be like so:

Monday - Personal Trainer

Tuesday - Pilates followed by 20 minutes hard cardio

Wednesday - Personal Trainer

Thursday - Pilates then Belly Dance

Friday - morning curling followed by 20 minutes hard cardio

Saturday or Sunday - weights with some cardio

Saturday or Sunday - day off

My personal trainer is including cardio in all our sessions - either by making me hop on a machine or doing so many leg moves that my heart friggen jumps out my chest. I have 95 days until Palm Springs and I want to go there in top shape. My trainer & I are calling this Operation Palm Springs. I think if I can get in shape I might even golf well. HAHA.

My food has been good - I had an on program week. Husband commented last night that he feels good now that we are eating properly again. I have to admit - I am too. It is less stressful to just cook a nice meal.

Daughter leaves for school Wednesday. The tears started yesterday. It just keeps hitting me in waves. I can think about it and be fine and then the next minute I'm tearing up. We haven't packed yet. I have a lovely dinner planned for Sunday - I'm going to make her favourite which is lamb. I'm going to do greek potatoes, maple dijon green salad and broccoli salad. All her fav's. We still have to get her a new pillow, a can opener, and stuff like toilette paper, wash soap, etc. We are going to drive her down, have lunch and then come back. I will be glad when I'm all adjusted and over this. I'm really excited for her - but....

Not much else on the go. Just waiting for my whole world to turn upside down.

Yoga Challenge

I've decided that the poses I will be doing for the challenge are the Kneeling Achilles Stretch, Front Ankle Stretch, Toe Stretch and Pigeon. I'm keeping it small as I want something that I will actually do every day. All of these stretches/poses will really help with the areas that I'm finding tight from running. After doing them last night I noticed that for the first time in around 2 years that when I got out of bed this morning I was able to step down and it didn't hurt. So yay!!

I saw Salt on the weekend. I just love Angelina. Can you imagine if Evelyn Salt hooked up with Jason Bourne? What a friggen ride that would be!!!!

I ran Sunday. Took me 30 minutes to do 4k. Sigh. Oh, well - guess a slow 4k is still better than NO 4k.

Not much else on the go. Just putting in time till vacay on Friday! YA BABY!!!!

Have a healthy day bloggers!

Survived

Spent the day with daughter yesterday. We shopped and then had lunch.

I got a bathing suit!!! And I feel really good in it!!!! It is a one piece and it is one of those ones that is supposed to make you look 10 lbs lighter. IT DOES!!! I seriously feel so much better about my upcoming vacation now. The only down side was the cost. $188. Seriously - how is it possible that they can charge that much for a freaking suit? And you may be shaking your head because I did. But I can't even begin to describe how good I feel in it.

So we went to lunch at Milestone's. I had looked up the menu online but couldn't find the nutritional information. I made what I thought was the best possible choice. HA! Of course, I get home, and then am ABLE to see the teeny weeny button to click for calorie count and what do I find? I chose the HIGHEST calorie salad!!!! Thankfully I had asked for no cheese - which helped. ARGH!!!

Last night I went for a run and walk for an hour. It was so nice out.

This morning daughter left for a week in Ottawa. Her flight was at 6:30 so I've been up since 4:30. I hate that nauseous feeling you get when you get up too early. Blech. I meet with personal trainer at 9:00. I'm still sore from Wednesday's session with her. Should be fun.... NOT

Yoga challenge starts tomorrow. Woohoo!!

Have a healthy day!!

Swim Suit Shopping

I have to look for a new swim suite today. I'm so down. I'm in the worst shape ever and for the first time in 5 years I'm thinking I need to buy a tankini 'cause I just can't bear the idea of anyone seeing my stomach.

Yesterday husband booked a golf trip to Palm Springs in early winter - us and another couple are going. I am really, really excited. Husband has been several times but I've never been. He just loves it there. I suspect I will also. I'm so happy to have a "get away" trip to look forward to.

Mmm, did I mention I got my hair done? I was going to go blonde but then changed my mind and did copper & caramel streaks. Looks cute. Fresh and different but not too different.

So, one of the gals in blogland is doing a 7 day yoga challenge. I've decided to do it. My feet could really use the stretching and I need to find my focus. Maybe this will help.

So, on the job front. Argh. I'm getting down about that too. The company I'm trying to get on with has hired yet another person who is not me. I'm starting to feel like a stalker and yet I'm hesitant to not keep following up - as I don't want to then feel like I didn't give it my all. What to do, what to do....

Oy....

Getting off my ass

FINALLY!!!! I really got out of my running routine and I have had the hardest time talking myself into getting out there. Why is the hardest part of getting back into a routine the self talk that it takes you to get off your ass? What really pisses me off is that I really, really love how I feel after the run. I feel like I'm on top of the world right now. Who doesn't want that feeling all the time???

Not much else on the go. Daughter & I are powering through Big Brother - we have a lot of episodes taped. Oh, anyone watching The Closer, True Blood, Entourage or that new show Rizzolie & Isles with Angie Harmon??? I'm dying to chat about them - but I don't know anyone watching!

Have a healthy day!

Facing The Music

All of my friends started attending WW meetings weeks ago. Lots of weeks ago. Because I was busy losing my mind with that stupid contract job - I couldn't go with them. They chose a Friday morning meeting instead of an evening or weekend. So, off they go - having great success. And in their excitement - after each meeting when they would find out how much they lost that week - they would BBM me. With each text message I would get sadder and sadder. Feeling left out. Feeling like I would never be able to get out of this cycle of self destructive behaviour I seemed to be stuck in. Feeling so jealous it was all I could do not to delete them from my contact list. Seriously.

So the other night when I stepped on the scale to see how much damage I had done to myself - I saw a # I hadn't even seen while I was pregnant. Even though I knew things were bad - I was SHOCKED!!

Fast forward to the meeting I went to yesterday. Step on the scale - and was pleasantly surprised to see I was up 1.5! My home scale is WAY off and needs to go in the garbage!! I picked myself up a 3 month journal and my goal is to write in it everyday.

I really, really enjoyed the meeting yesterday. The leader was so good and I found myself paying attention the entire time. I have to find out if she does any downtown meetings. I don't know how often I can take Fridays off so that I can make the meetings. Although I am going to try - will be talking to boss on Monday!! It was fun to have friends there. One of the gals is already down 13lbs. She is just so excited - it is nice to see.

We planned a family bbq for tomorrow cause daughter is going off to school and this is her last weekend at home before holidays and then she's off to University. One of the in-laws, when asked if they wanted to come, said "probably" and I called Thursday to see if they were coming, and they still haven't called back. Is it just me or is that really rude? I have decided to make all of my sides WW recipes. I found a WW version of the bonanza beans I always make, a WW version of my famous broccoli salad, and I will be scouring my books for a WW macaroni salad. We will serve up italian sausages also (4.5 for half - not bad). I want to be able to count properly - and with my WW serving spoons - portion control is never a problem!

We went to the chuck wagon races last night at the Stampede. If you're a rodeo hater - save your comments - you won't change my mind - I love going. I was really impressed with myself as we were in a private infield box with free food and booze. I had 1/2 glass of white wine (2pts worth) and it took me the whole duration of the chucks to finish it - tiny sips!! I also kept my portions well in check (which frankly is easier when you're not drinking a lot) and in the end I only used 11 flex!! It is weird to say - but I had some of the best chicken curry I've every had in my life last night. At the Stampede - how strange is that?

We ended up getting special passes to go back to the barns so we could visit with the animals. It was really cool. What a different lifestyle the rodeo competitors have. We never got home till after midnight. It ended up being a great date night - and all it cost us was the belt buckle husband bought! Now next Stampede he will look like a real cowboy! HAHA

Today I will take pup for a walk, menu plan, grocery shop, drink my water and journal, journal, journal.

Have a healthy day bloggers!

Drowning.....

That is how I feel.

On the work front - I ended up quitting one of my jobs. The one that was really busy. I wasn't sleeping cause I was so worried about how I would get everything done. Since I quit I have slept through the night every night! Guess it was the right decision.

All of the stress has taken it's toll on me though. As if work wasn't enough - I have had the drama of waiting to see if daughter was going to go to University. I am happy to report that she is in, accepted, registered and just last Friday got confirmation that she has a dorm room! I was so distracted I had trouble functioning. The idea of having to find her an apartment last minute that was within walking distance of the Uni was mind boggling!!

Of course, during these times, when it would make sense to throw myself into exercise and clean living to help alleviate the stress.... that isn't what I do. I, in fact, do the complete opposite. Because I am the biggest bonehead ever.

I have a glimmer of hope that, on the work front, I may be offered a contract for a company that I really want to work for. So, in an effort to get some good vibes in my life, I've decided that I need to stop using life as an excuse to not take care of myself. A former high school acquaintance that friended me on facebook has breast cancer. It looks like she will make a recovery, if all goes well this next year with her treatments. This woman is fighting for her life, and I have my health and I'm letting it go. How crazy is that? Also - I don't fit into any of my clothes and it is driving me CRAZY!!

So, after I hit publish - I'm going to a meeting, buying a 3 month journal - and not giving up on myself anymore. I'm going to write on every day of that journal and I am going to be active every day. I leave for vacation in 2 weeks and have already told my girlfriend (whose family we vacation with in Montreal) that I will be following plan and I even found a meeting in her area in English!! She thinks that I should be able to stay on plan and I do too. She has a track near her house - last vacation I ran 8 out of 15 days. In the humidity! I should be able to do that again. Just have to not eat my body weight in bread pizza or drink my body weight in wine. HAHA

Hope all is well with everyone. I've missed the blogging community.

stress eating

I spent the day at the hospital with my mom's husband - looks like he has an enlarged liver. No surgery or anything - so that's good. But it was a long, exhausting day. After we were done at the hospital we stopped for lunch at a chinese buffet. Oy. I stopped before I was out of points but I was just so close to diving head first into the buffet - and it was all just nerves. Will that ever go away?

We had a substitute French teacher last night and he was in really good shape. It was hard to concentrate! Teehee!!

I'm sore!

Last night was belly dance. We had our regular class and started learning our choreography. It was fun. There are quite a few new students in the class this session and it has been a lot of fun watching them learn to love belly dance as much as I do. Anyhow, after class another girl and I stayed for an extra hour to work with the teacher. We are doing more advanced isolations and an intermediate choreography. We worked hard and my lower back is feeling it today. Not in an injured way - but in a "gee I really worked that area" way.

My life has been completely upside down lately. I think I mentioned that I'm down to just two jobs. One is supposed to be 5 - 6 days a month and then the other job just 2 or 3 days a week (when I'm not at job #1). Well, so far that hasn't really worked that way and I've been working every day! This is good, because the extra $$ has been awesome. It has been bad because my home life hasn't caught up to the fact that I'm not home all day anymore. My largest struggle has been suppers. Mostly because we are so busy now in the evenings. It is a rush to get home and then a rush to leave again! I think this weekend I will do a week of Cooking for the Rushed. See how that goes. Can't go any worse than this week. Of that I'm sure!

I'm so glad today is Friday. This week I worked Mon, Tue at one company, Wed at the other, Thurs back to the first and today at the other again. Just typing that makes me tired! I would totally love a bottle of wine tonight, but alas, I do not have THAT many flex points left.

I went to a WW meeting Monday downtown lunch time. The leader was easily the worst leader ever. Seemed like a nice enough lady, but oy - she should not have her own meeting. I've been quite hungry this week counting my points again. It is shocking how much my portions had increased.

Have a healthy day bloggers!!

still here

I have been all over the place lately. Work has been busy, it seems like we have a million things going on every night. I've started French class... still seeing personal trainer.... going back to WW meetings starting tomorrow..... oh, and I had the experience of a lifetime, as noted below in the two pictures. Husband has been cut out as he would have a stroke if I posted his picture. I will do a proper post this afternoon, but wanted to at least get the pictures up!

2nd session with Personal Trainer

I just got back from my 2nd session with my personal trainer. Today we did more balancing on the bosu - I sucked at it even worse this week than last week. Then I had to do lunges the length of the gym holding a heavy ball out in front of me. On the way back I had to lunge to the side on a diagonal, still holding the ball out and in front. Then to my triceps. Ouch. Next up was... lat pull downs. My gym has the machine that has two handles to pull down instead of a bar. I like that exercise. We then moved to the glute machine. Trainer told me at this point that walking and running does not work the glutes, and that is why long distance runners have to bums. You need to do stairs, or hills to get some shape. I did not know that. Once that was done we went to the mats where I worked my back and my stomach. Oy! The stomach exercises were very effective.

I feel exhilarated and tired at the same time. I guess that's good? I'm trying to talk myself into taking the pup for a walk.... but the urge to lay my head down is strong.

So, is anyone watching Biggest Loser out there? I'm getting so mad with the show. All this dis-ordered eating that is required for the challenges makes me SICK. And that Lance's wife. I fucking hate her. Seriously - she completely sabotaged her husband and I think made him feel guilty. What a ditch pig she is. She better not be the one that gets back on the show next week - or I may have to boycott it. I think this will be the last time we watch the show. Honestly, the contestants are just too heavy to be relatable. Having said ALL of that - isn't Sam looking great? I love Tongans!! If the contestants on the show (from last season and this) are any example of what they are as a people - I am impressed!! Plus, I find his tat's really sexy!!

Husband is curling in a bonspiel this weekend, so we are going out to the banquet tonight where there will be dancing! I love dancing!! If I can move, that is, after my session with PT!!

Well, peeps, that's about it for now. I know there was something I wanted to talk about.... but now that I'm sitting here typing..... I got nothing!!

Have a healthy day bloggers!!

I can move again!

thank goodness!

finished my job at the oil company today for another month. this month was very hard to say no to the junk.

my muscles seem to be done being sore after saturday's workout. thank goodness! I did some exercises today from saturday's workout. that was fun.... NOT!!

I'm really tired tonight. Just turned on curling a bit before bed time. I feel like I haven't had a good night's sleep in forever. I need to tweak my eating habits I think. I'm all over the place and it is wreaking havoc on my digestive system.

not much to report today, but I want to start posting more regularly.

have a healthy day bloggers!!

PS: 31 days till my picture with Spock!!

Monday in a big way

Today really, really felt like a Monday!

I found it to be a really long day today. I actually left work at 4:00 today instead of 4:30 because I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin. I just thought I can NOT sit here 30 more minutes! That is the nice part of being a contractor I suppose. There has to be something, right?

I meant to tell you all that my walking group has signed up to volunteer at the HSBC Marathon/ Half marathon. We are hoping to be able to get the food tent. There are 7 of us, and "we"'d all like to be together. Personally I wanted to be on the course. I didn't really care about being with the other girls. I just know that I appreciate people cheering me on so much when I'm out there doing a race. Oh, well. I suppose all that matters is that we are volunteering. I guess all positions are important.

I can still hardly move today since my workout Saturday. I have to do it all again tomorrow. I wanted to run tonight - but there is no freakin way I could do it!!

So peeps. DWTS starts tonight. What an..... interesting cast. Bruno the judge cracks me up. I don't know if I will be tuning in all the time, but.... there is potential for entertainment, that's for sure!

Have a healthy day bloggers!!

PS: Ochocinco..... yummiest contestant ever on the show I think..... I wonder if he will dance naked? I might tune in weekly after all just in case.......

Thank God I have ears!

They are the only part of my body that doesn't hurt after my first meeting with my new personal trainer.

I met with her yesterday and I love her!! We never picked up even one weight and I can hardly move today!

I had to work for a few hours this morning and when I was done I walked my dog home from our club. It is just over 8 k. I thought moving around a bit would work the kinks out. Holy noodle. I could not have been more wrong. Every step hurt. It was so windy to boot that it took me twenty minutes longer than it normally does. Oy!

My little Indiana had a swim lesson this week while at doggy day care. Look at what a little star he is. I was a bit worried about how he would do, but he did great.

Not much else has been going on. I think daughter is thinking of taking a year off of school when she is done high school. I actually think that might be her best course of action.

I'm going to do the exercises that I did with Personal Trainer twice this week. If my limbs don't fall off. Or if I don't cut them off to rid myself of the pain.

Have a healthy day bloggers.

Who Am I?

I found myself wondering this lately.

As we waited anxiously for daughter's marks, I realized that my whole sense of who "I was" was a complete unknown to me. I am a mom. Always wanted to be one. Quit work to spend time with daughter when she was 14 as I figured that is the age they start making decisions that can change their whole life. Now, here we are, actually waiting to see if daughter passed all her classes. She didn't. I can't remember even the idea of failing ever even passed through my head when I was her age. And yet here is my daughter failing her chem class. Her other marks so low that she is virtually assured to have her conditional acceptance into University revoked. My sense of being a failure is all consuming. Of course, intellectually I know this isn't my failure at all. I got her to school, spent literally thousands of $$ on tutors, nagged, argued, explained that school is essential for a decent chance at a good life. But I wonder - at what point did I fail her when she failed to acquire the common sense that tells you that a high school diploma is the below the bare minimum of what you need to get places in life?

ARGH!!!! Of course, when you're co-parenting this kind of stress means stress on the marriage. Almost every conversation, every thought, every bad dream is about daughter. And where we went wrong. And how we will move forward. And with both of us coming from such different families, we hardly ever agree.

So, where are we now? I have finally accepted that it is ok for daughter to upgrade, take the time to mature a bit so that when she does go to Uni she will be prepared to study hard. Husband has finally stopped being angry. Daughter continues to live oblivious to the fact that we spend so much time fretting - she is just going about her business.... hanging with friends, working occasionally, and facebooking.

In the mean time I have decided that I need to get on with my life. Find some focus that isn't daughter. It isn't healthy for either of us. To that end, I am now working more. The company I had hoped to get back on with full time has been.... slow in retaining my services and so my contract work with them will finish the first week of April. All is not lost though. In the mean time, I have one week a month at the oil company, which I really like, and an old boss tracked me down to offer me contract work for the rest of the month. In March it will workout that I will have worked every day, just for 3 companies! This newest job, which I only started this week, seems like it will be really nice. I really like the fellow that I'm working for and my direct manager seems quite nice. Anyhow, there is a possibility that it will only be 3 days a week, which would be quite nice. Kinda the best of both worlds.

Since I'm working so much, I needed new work clothes. I went on a total spree. I bought new pants, a ton of tops and even new skirts. Almost all of it from Banana Repulic. And it all looks quite nice, if I do say so myself! I also bought new pumps. I look and feel like a million bucks! Normally I would put off buying new clothes, thinking I will do it when I've lost weight. But I'm living in the moment.

Of course, with all this stress I slipped into my old coping mechanisms. Every time I felt panic set in.... I ate that feeling away. Sheesh. The good news is that I've kept up with my running. Yay me.

I've also decided that, now that we have extra $$ coming in, I'm getting a personal trainer again. I start a week today. I'm quite excited about the girl I managed to get - I think she will suit me perfectly.

It was also my birthday this week. I turned 44. It was a nice birthday. We went for a lovely birthday dinner to Caesar's and it was SO good. I also got the absolute best birthday gift ever. I cried when I opened my card. Two two-day passes to the Sci-Fi convention coming to Calgary to the Round Up center in April where I will be getting my photo taken with Leonard Nimoy!!!! This is a childhood dream come true. I can hardly stand waiting.

Well, this is a huge post. If anyone is still reading - have a healthy day!!

Regularly scheduled programming will return in...

a week or two. I am taking a small break - just waiting for my daughter's marks and quite frankly cannot concentrate or think about anything else. Once I have her marks and know what she is doing and where she is going - I will be back. And by then I may also have work news. Old boss called today - sounds promising!!!

Go Canada!!!!

My runometer just blew up!

That is what my little Nike+ Avatar is saying tonight. We did hills tonight at the 10k clinic. 5 of them. 7.5k worth of hills. I've been home for almost an hour and my lungs are still sore!!

I also took the pup for a nice long walk this afternoon. It was so sunny out. I really needed the sunshine. Sunshine just makes everything right, doesn't it?

I have to work tomorrow and daughter is going to meet me downtown to look at grad dresses. That should prove interesting. Or frustrating. Or both.

Not much else going on. I made a really, really tasty shepard's pie for supper tonight. I love shepard's pie.

Have a healthy day bloggers!

Biggest Loser - Didn't watch? Then don't read!!

I totally think that red chick threw it to go home!!!! There is no way she looked anywhere near as upset as she should have. Big stinky liar!!!!!!!!!! I actually threw my arms up in the air when I saw her results and yelled "YA!!". I think she just didn't like working so hard.

Thoughts?

working through the stress

So, after blabbing about my stress and how I need to find another way to deal with it..... Sunday I had an argument of sorts with husband about daughter and immediately picked up the phone to call cousin to tell her I would be skipping our scheduled run with the running room 10k clinic. I had the phone in my reach, and then thought to myself that if I was ever going to make a change it had to be now. So I went for the 8k run. Small steps, right? At one point I was talking to cousin about the tiff and got myself so worked up I had to stop running because I got so short of breath!

Oh, and I did run Saturday with Indiana. It was slow and a smidgen frustrating because Indiana kept stopping. And just sitting. What a little monkey! Anyhow, we finished the run and I'm sure we BOTH felt so good when it was done.

Last night we went up the the club for Superbowl fun and frolic. All food written down and counted.

This morning I joined daughter for her session with the personal trainer. Oy! The up side was that she commented on my form and said that is was perfect! The down side was that it friggen hurt!!! I have some work to do with weights!

Not much else on the agenda for today. Taking the pup for a nice long walk this afternoon. Not going to run because I've run two days in a row and my knees are quite sore.

Have a healthy day bloggers!!

What a friggen week

I did not have a good week this week. My stress level is at an all time high. My daughter, whom I love dearly, is on a mission to drive me completely insane. Just school issues. But enough to be all consuming. Sadly, I eat when I'm stressed. I'm back on plan now though.

Went to the club last night for my first real workout in 3 weeks. While my lungs were quite unhappy with me, it felt really good to exercise. I did an hour on the treadmill - upping the incline every minute. First go up and down I went as high as 11, and the second go up and down I went all the way up to 15. I was drenched by the time I was done.

Today I plan to try a run with the pup (try in that we will go out, I just don't know how much running I can do, not try to go out). I'm sure he could use the time outside. He's been in doggy daycare all week because I've been working. Of course, he has a ball there - especially this week, they put him in with the medium sized dogs (up to 70 lbs) because his style of play was better suited for that group. He is exhausted every night. But he also got so excited the one day when we pulled into the parking lot to drop him off that he yelped and hopped up and down in the back seat! Anyhow, even with all that I think both of us would benefit from some vitamin D. It certainly will help my mood.

I wonder when I will learn to deal with my stress in a positive manner? I guess when I just do it. I want to be someone who goes for a run when I want to put my daughter through a wall, instead of grabbing a glass of wine and some Tostitos!

Anyhow, I should boogie.... get some food in me so I can get out there. Have a healthy day bloggers!!

PS: My contract at the one place I work got extended 2 months - woohoo!

Personal Growth and a Weigh In

Major personal growth happening here!!

I was raised to feed a cold. For the first time in my adult life, I was sick (for 2 weeks now) and I DID NOT GAIN WEIGHT. This is huge for me. It turns out that if you don't stuff your face - you will still eventually get better. Who knew???

I'm not kidding - normally a period of illness this long would easily, easily result in a 5 - 7 lb gain.

Moving on.

I went to Zumba today. Daughter was finally able to attend. She hated it. It's not my favourite, but I do enjoy the music and I sweat like a pig, so I know my heart is going like crazy. Of course, today that could have just been a fever... I felt dizzy a couple of times during the class and had to nap this afternoon after my big exertion!!

Tonight is date night with husband. We are going the The Catch restaurant. While I do not eat stuff out of the water, husband loves his sea food. I will be having some lovely beef tonight and I can't wait!! Black Angus AAA tenderloin. Does life get any better than that? We are going to take our time, order a nice bottle of wine and just enjoy each other. The thing that is really nice about a really fancy restaurant though? Not the price, certainly. The portions. They are usually really small and in the end, the perfect size!

I'm thinking I may even put makeup on tonight. I don't normally wear makeup cause I think it makes wrinkles. But tonight might be a makeup night.

Oh, I never made it to belly dance Thursday. Just still felt to icky. And got a headache. I've sure had really bad ones since being sick. I think it is all the coughing. I did curl yesterday though. Curl a really, really good game. I was on fire!! Of course, now my skip will think I can make the occasional shot and she will be disappointed next time I go and get back to my regular missing everything! HAHA

Well, I guess I'd better go get my face on. I need to take some cough medicine and a couple of advil before we go. Wow - how sexy is that - I have the new Benalyn mucus and phlem busting formula stuff. Sigh....

Have a healthy day bloggers!!

Back to the land of the living

Still congested in my chest and coughing but boy do I feel better. Good enough that I'm going to go to belly dance this week. My first "exercise" session in over a week! I still have a day of prescription pills to take. You know, I think it was the rescue inhaler that was making me nauseous.

Still on program - with 4 flex to last me 2 days. It drives me friggen crazy that I can be SO sick and still not lose my appetite. I have been starving and now that I'm feeling well enough to keep my food down.... I've been eating what feels like a lot.

OK peeps. I need to just go on the record regarding the Red Team on Biggest Loser. If you haven't watched then stop reading... NOW!

She is a liar, liar, liar. OMG. Does she really think that we are all so stupid? I hate liars. To my mind, if she wanted to keep up with the lie, she should have thrown her weigh in's until she didn't have immunity. But it was so obvious. I don't normally care for Jillian as I don't like the yelling (I find it actually quite abusive) BUT I was loving her on this week's show. I loved that she didn't back down.

And that Green team. OMG. I have never, ever seen two more angry women in my life. That daughter - when she was sitting on camera all hunched over, eyes half closed - completely shut down. It is inconceivable to me that she is even married. They both need some serious therapy. And that mom telling her not to cry. I just wanted to slap her!

Well, time for breakfast. Have a healthy day!

Oy!

I am not getting any better. I threw up in the car last night and for most of the morning today. I have a headache from throwing up. ARGH!!

Can't keep any food down and can't exercise. I'm one of those people who does NOT lose their appetite when sick - so I'm friggen STARVING. I guess it is good to know that I still recognize the feeling. Always a silver lining, right?

Anyhow - short post today.....

Have a healthy day bloggers!

OMG! Enough already!!

I have been coughing so much I've actually given myself a headache. Work was long but productive today. My manager just called me (it's 7:15) - I thought I must have made a big mistake, but she was just calling to tell me that I don't need to come in tomorrow. I'm so relieved. I really think a day in bed will do me good. I didn't go to belly dance tonight. No energy.

Did any of you notice that I slipped my weigh in up on the side? I ran out quickly last night. Didn't stay for the meeting because I felt like crap, but at least I won't miss out on the cheap fees!

Not much else to report. Eating is good. Coughing is a pain. Exercise is non-existent. Yep - that pretty much catches us up.

Oh, my puppy was so "full of energy" today that doggy daycare put him in with the medium sized dogs. The gals said that he just had a ball and was so buy trying to jump OVER the bigger dogs!! I so wish they had web cams in the play areas....

Have a healthy day bloggers.

Blog Award!!

Hey peeps! I got an award - how exciting!!!

7 things you might not know about me:

1) I haven't spoken French since, while still living in my home town of Montreal, a French co-worker laughed at me for using "le" instead of "la". That was 22 years ago. I decided last week to take French lessons. Thanks to "H" for mentioning it on her blog. The lesson, not the huge chip on my shoulder.

2) Fatinah is my belly dance name, but if I could change my "real life" name to any name, I would chose Elizabeth.

3) I picked my daughter's name out when I was 16

4) Even though I am a firm believer that WW is THE plan for healthy living long term, when LA Weight Loss called me out of the blue the other day to say they had changed their program I still thought "hmmm, should I try it?" Always that part of me looking for a secret weapon.

5) I'm one of those people that doesn't think living together is the same as being married, and I will be devastated if my daughter does it. I know, I know....

6) I get really, really, really irritated when I read stuff like on blogs like "well, I didn't lose cause I ate that cupcake" or similar. Seriously, if you count your effing points, there is no reason you can't have a cupcake. Not at every meal, but if you gained a POUND it is because you didn't count your points accurately. Seriously makes me so nuts.

7) I'm very claustrophobic and have to leave the room if I'm watching a show that has a character in a small space.

8) Bonus fact: my last tattoo was totally inspired by the lovely Tigerlilly!!

Bloggers I would like to pass this award onto are:

1) H-Woman

2) Sparky

3) Graciela

4) Cinemarie

5) Tiggerlilly

6) Totegirl

7) Expressomama