Taking Stock

I have been taking stock of my efforts lately. The other day I was watching a show called X-Weighted, and there was a gal on that was so afraid of failing, she was unable to really set a goal, let alone achieve it.

I just about fell off the couch watching this show, because it made me realize why I haven't been successful with my efforts. I too am afraid. Of success. As I watched this girl on her workouts, I saw myself. I do the work, but I always stop short of really pushing myself. Always. I will tell myself, well, what is important is that I got out here. But if getting out there consists of a run that is barely faster than a walk, and if it means that my heart rate was barely above resting, then I'm fooling myself. I'm gypping myself out of success. I'm spending the time doing it anyway, if I just push myself, it would be worthwhile.

This morning, on my running room run, I decided that it had to end. So, when I came to the part of the path that had a hill, which I would have normally just walked up and then kept going, I didn't. I told myself that I deserved the ass I was going to get if I ran up it. So I did. Oh, I could hardly keep running after I got to the top, but I didn't stop. I caught my breath and picked up my pace. Now, I realize this is just one workout. But I think now that I have seen where I keep going wrong...I will be better able to change the behaviour.

I've also done something rather silly. I signed up for the Halloween Howl run - which is a 10k race at the end October. I'm only running around 3 k now, but I have another gal to train with....and I figure the push will be what I need to get to the level I need to to actually burn some calories. I will meet this this gal twice a week to do longer distances, and I have my running class the other 3 days.

I have hired a personal trainer to meet with me on Thursdays to do weights. I'm just not getting the weights done on my own. If I can do weights then just one other day on my own.....my plan for the week will be:

Monday - weights alone at club, run with 10k training buddy
Tuesday - running room clinic run (pm)
Thursday - weight training with personal trainer, belly dance
Friday - run with 10k training buddy
Saturday - yoga with husband
Sunday - running room clinic run (am)

I had Thanksgiving Dinner yesterday. I made ham, scalloped potatoes, mashed yams, brussels sprouts. I was supposed to have corn also, but I actually forgot to make it! Anyhow, it all turned out good (although the scalloped potatoes didn't thicken) and everyone had a lot of fun. I'm happy I did it on Saturday, because now we have two whole days to relax!

Things I'm thankful for this year: My husband & daughter, my two favourite people in the world; our health, God has really blessed us in this way; my new found revelation which will lead to my success in the coming months and last but not least, my new puppy Indiana, who has provided so much fun and unconditional licking!

Bloggers, I am thankful to all of you also, because it really is a comfort to know that I am not alone with my struggles. Have a healthy day!